I Fake My Happiness. And It Sucks.

2017-11-15T16:54:22+00:00 November 15th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Nicole. I'm a pretty happy person...for someone with severe depression. That being said I'm still very sad for most of the time. It's not my fault that I'm sick. But it will be my fault when I show up to happy events acting the way I feel. So a lot of [...]

The First Time I Disclose My Mental Illness

2017-11-08T18:25:06+00:00 November 13th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Nicole. There are a lot of relationship milestones that can seem kind of intimidating. The first date, the first kiss, the first time saying I love you. However, for me, there's one relationship milestone that terrifies me. That is, the first time I disclose my mental illness.   I know it's [...]

I Have A Mental Illness, & I Will Never Own A Gun

2017-11-08T16:27:35+00:00 November 8th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Nicole. Lately mental illness has been in the news...however it's not always in the best light. Lately I've been seeing a lot of reports concerning mental health in relation to the mass shootings that have taken place. And quite frankly, I'm really sick of it.   There's a lot I could [...]

Why Do People Think I’m Faking My Illness?

2017-11-04T17:08:58+00:00 October 30th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Nicole. I have been mentally ill my whole life. For as long as I can remember I've been struggling with psychotic episodes, panic attacks, depression periods, and so much more. My life is ruled by mental illness. Although I try not to let it define me, I try not to be [...]

There Has To be More To Life Than My Mental Illness

2017-11-04T17:10:44+00:00 September 25th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Nicole. There has to be more than life than this. There has to be more to life than this crippling anxiety and this deep, dark depression. There has to be more to life than my mental illness.    Yet it seems like my mental illness always consumes me.   Yet it seems [...]

Are You Confused Why I Cut You Out Of My Life?

2017-11-04T17:12:22+00:00 July 27th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Nicole. I'm a people pleaser. It's hard for me to say no to others. I believe in the good in people. When I make friends I'm hoping it's for life, and if I call you family that means you matter so much to me I couldn't stand to live without you. [...]

Even Celebrities Aren’t Immune To Mental Illness

2017-11-04T17:12:24+00:00 July 20th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Nicole. The summer of 2014 hit me like a ton of bricks. I was in serious treatment for my mental health. I was at my lowest of the low. And just when it seemed like it couldn't get any worse, my hero, Robin Williams, died by suicide. I was a wreck. [...]

Did you take your meds today?

2017-11-04T17:14:16+00:00 June 5th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Jones. "Did you take your meds today?" This question used to make me cringe. Every time I was acting out of the ordinary my mother would ask me this. The truth was, I wasn't taking my medications regularly. She was in the right to ask me this. But it still annoyed [...]

I’ll never be the person my parents planned for me to be; but I will try my hardest to be even better

2017-11-04T17:14:26+00:00 May 16th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Jones. When I was adopted at the age of seven my parents didn't quite know what to expect. When I first met them at the age of six they didn't know who to expect. My parents expected me to have a good life; that was easily managed. They cared deeply about [...]

But Really is it Mental Health Awareness Month?

2017-11-04T17:15:15+00:00 May 10th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Jones. Every month at my local grocery store there is a promotion for the pharmacy where you can raise money for the month and whatever illness has association with that month. I was excited for May, being (among many things) Mental Health Awareness Month. I was hoping that my pharmacy would [...]

If you could take a magic pill to cure yourself of mental illness, would you?

2017-11-04T17:15:58+00:00 April 20th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Jones. I think there's a point in everyone's life where they think about what life would be like without a mental illness. I too, have thought of this question. So here's my question today; if you could take a magic pill to cure yourself of mental illness, would you?   Why [...]

Depressed mornings are always the hardest

2017-11-04T17:15:37+00:00 April 17th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Jones. Depressed mornings are always the hardest for me. I'm tired; I don't want to get out of bed for the life of me. I wish I didn't wake up from my slumber, and I have no motivation to go on throughout my day. I want to curl up and stay [...]

When I was first diagnosed with a mental illness I thought my life was over

2017-11-04T17:18:05+00:00 April 12th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Jones. When I first was diagnosed with a mental illness I thought my life is over. Everything had to change. I couldn't drink anymore because of my medications, I couldn't stay up late in case it altered my moods. I had to be cautious of the way I was acting, and [...]

Friendships when you have a mental illness

2017-11-04T17:18:29+00:00 April 3rd, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones|

Written by Taylor Jones. I always pictured my 20's as a time I would constantly be surrounded by friends. I pictured myself partying, traveling, and going to bars with a whole gang of people who loved and respected me. I thought I would be #SquadGoals. But the truth is, here I am at 23, [...]

Don’t question my emotions. Don’t question my medications.

2017-11-04T17:18:39+00:00 March 30th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Jones. Anti-psychotic medicines have become a regular part of my life. Every night around 10 I pop my pill, go to bed, and in the morning I (not so) magically wake up pretty balanced. Before medications I would wake up a monster or a slug. These balanced days that fill my [...]

Without my support team, I would be lost

2017-11-04T17:19:34+00:00 March 27th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Jones. I've been told in the past that I don't get what it's like, because I have a family, I have supporters. This is true. My biggest motivator in my life right now (and there's a handful that are golden, beautiful people who don't doubt me) is my child. My son [...]

You are not your diagnosis

2017-03-24T17:05:21+00:00 March 24th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Jones. For most of my adult life I was diagnosed with an illness that I was supposed to have been born with.   It's difficult to understand that you are born with a mental illness.   It's difficult to understand that you are born with a mental illness. It felt like [...]

I’m probably going to be on medications for the rest of my life

2017-03-21T16:55:57+00:00 March 21st, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Jones. I remember my ex looking at my pills, and taking them away from me, like you would take candy away from a child. "You don't need these." he told me. "Crazy people need these," which in hindsight, was hilarious, because as frequently as he called me crazy, it was only [...]

I never used to think of myself as a cutter

2017-03-20T18:15:13+00:00 March 20th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Jones. I never used to think of myself as a cutter; I used to take kitchen knives and drag them along my skin, fantasizing about what it would feel like. Sometimes when I would be upset I would simply press the knife against the knife against my skin, not in a slicing [...]

I wasn’t ready to accept that something was wrong with me

2017-03-15T17:38:01+00:00 March 15th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Jones. The first time I got intensive help for my mental health was when I was arrested; my options were jail, or going to the mental facility at my local hospital. My first choice wasn't the mental hospital. I didn't want people to think I was crazy, and I was worried the [...]

I just knew I didn’t want to live anymore

2017-03-13T15:47:50+00:00 March 13th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Jones. The first time I thought about killing myself was after my first adoptive mom died; or at least that's the first time I remember thinking about it. I was living with my biological mom at the time, before I would be placed into foster homes. I didn't know what I [...]

Work is a lot more difficult to manage when you are mentally ill

2017-03-06T23:52:07+00:00 February 27th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|

Written by Taylor Jones. At the age of 23 I can tell you (begrudgingly) that I have worked for 18 different employers in the past 4 years. Some jobs were seasonal, some jobs were not a good fit, some jobs I quit, and only one I was actually fired from. However, I have gone [...]

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