Did you take your meds today?

This question used to make me cringe. Every time I was acting out of the ordinary my mother would ask me this. The truth was, I wasn’t taking my medications regularly. She was in the right to ask me this. But it still annoyed me to no end.

It annoyed me in the mornings when I would take my pills in high school too. Make sure you take your pills, are you sure you took your pills, did you take your meds today? I hated her asking me about my medication, even if it came from a place of care and concern. I wanted to scream every time she asked. But it wasn’t her fault.

I hated her concern and questioning because I hated taking medications. Her constant reminding was a constant reminder that I’m the kind of person who needs medication. Her love for me was always misinterpreted in my head as that nagging voice reminding me I wasn’t normal.

I didn’t take medications for years, and it pretty much ruined me. I took them as needed, instead of everyday. They were my “in case of emergency” pills, but I didn’t get that I was having emergencies from not taking my medication properly. I quit treatments, and started again, each time my mom gently reminded me to take my pills (and each time I would roll my eyes).

I’ve grown up, though. I started taking my medications as prescribed, and really started working with a treatment plan. Now at night, when I need to take my pills my husband gently reminds me. I’ll be honest, it still annoys me, and it probably always will. But it’s not my family; it’s me. It’s difficult to understand that some people have to take medications to be a functioning human; it’s even harder to understand that I’m one of those people. It’s just another hurdle to get over, and in the end it makes me better.