Written by Tea Jay.

It came on suddenly. Suicidal thoughts had been lingering for weeks now, but I had no actual plan to attempt to take my life. Then, just like that, something switched. Nothing in the world mattered. I was slipping into darkness and I was allowing it to take me. I was ready to end my life.

 

But I was alive. I survived, yet again.

 

And then, a few hours later, I woke up, with a headache and some rage. But I was alive. I survived, yet again. Part of me was disappointed. This isn’t the first time I have tried to take my life. But a much larger part of me was grateful. I wasn’t really ready to go; I just wanted to stop feeling all my emotions, even for a moment. I didn’t really want to die, as much as I thought I did. I wanted to stop being emotional. I wanted to be numb. I wanted to feel nothing.

 

I received silence. friends whom I had just been having conversations with went cold. Nobody had a word to say to me.

 

It’s been a week now. I’m safe and not planning on harming myself again, and I’m joining a program that will help my mental health. I went public with my attempt, posted about it on Facebook and told my friends; for me, that was a way to stay accountable. I received silence. friends whom I had just been having conversations with went cold. Nobody had a word to say to me.

 

People don’t know how to respond to suicide attempts.

 

I realized that this is a problem. People don’t know how to respond to suicide attempts. This is a problem because after a suicide attempt, all I wanted was support; but my friends and family didn’t know how to do that for me. I’m not sure what it is; an awkward situation, afraid to make things worse? Whatever the reasoning, silence is not the answer.

 

The easiest thing to say to someone after a suicide attempt is, “I’m glad you’re still here” or, “I love you.”

 

The easiest thing to say to someone after a suicide attempt is, “I’m glad you’re still here” or, “I love you.” They are the simplest things to say, yet leave such a major impact. Check in on the person if you’re feeling comfortable enough. Ask them if they need any help, or if they want some company. Or simply, act normal. All I wanted was my life to return to normal after my attempt. If one friend came over and watched a movie with me, it would have made a world of a difference.

 

You could be saving someone just by saying hello.

 

I get it; knowing someone wanted to die, and recently at that, is an uncomfortable situation. But you have the power to bring comfort back into their life. Talk about it, start a conversation and show how much you care. You could be saving someone just by saying hello.

Schizophrenic.NYC Mental Health Clothing Line Blog Post

Schizophrenic.NYC Mental Health Clothing Line Blog Post

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Tea JaySchizophrenic.NYC – Staff Blogger
Tea Jay is an author based out of New England. She is the author of the children’s book “I’m Sick; A Mental Health Book From Adults To Kids.” She writes about living with mental illness including BPD, DID, Dissociative Amnesia, and PTSD. She is best known for her article/video “When You’re In The Gray Area Of Being Suicidal.” Taylor is also a stay at home mom to her 2 year old Jack.

Website: HelloTeaJay.wordpress.com
Facebook: Hello Tea Jay

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