By Michelle Hammer

Having Schizophrenia and making it through college is not easy, but I had Lacrosse. Playing Lacrosse in college saved my life. It did. I know some people won’t get it. But being an athlete meant something important to me. It made me feel needed. I felt like people depended on me. I was someone to look up to. I worked hard to be the best player I could be. When I didn’t perform well, I got upset. When I did something good, I was relieved. I tried my hardest. It wasn’t an easy journey, but without lacrosse in my life, I don’t think I would be living right now. I  credit my coach for helping me. She never gave up.  She helped me realize that I needed to take my medication regularly, which changed my life forever. Lacrosse saved my life. Follow my journey.

 

How the sport of Lacrosse saved my Life

MY FRESHMAN YEAR

I would run at night. Go out at 11pm and come back at 1am. My roommate would worry about it being so late. I would use running to get manage my mania and my anxiety.

 

How the sport of Lacrosse saved my Life

MY SOPHOMORE YEAR

I go on and off a medication that’s very subduing. I eat a lot of sugar to give me energy because I think the medicine is making me tired. When a senior tears her ACL I become a starter on defense. the first game I started, we lost to a team we shouldn’t have. I took a large amount of medicine on the bus ride back home. I didn’t realize I was in crisis.

 

How the sport of Lacrosse saved my Life

MY JUNIOR YEAR

I am under a lot of pressure to work as hard as I can, and be a role model to under class men. However, I act out at practice, and get in fights with my coach.  One day, I had a bad game, and we lost in double overtime. I then stole a surgical blade from the sports training room. I called my best friend, who had graduated and told her what I had, and plans I was thinking of doing with it.  I go home and decide to throw the knife away. 5 minutes later my head coach and assistant coach show up at my front door.  I didn’t realize I had a complete panic attack, that made me want to self harm.

 

How the sport of Lacrosse saved my Life

MY SENIOR YEAR

I decide I am going to take my medicine regularly when I am supposed to. I am behaving at practice, as well as when I am spending time with my coach.  Other coaches are noticing the change in me, in addition to my own coach.  I am being a leader on defense and teaching younger teammates how to play effective defense. My coach notices my improved behavior and asks me to be captain.  I then realized how my life journey of lacrosse has saved my life.

Schizophren.NYC Blog Post

Schizophren.NYC Blog Post

How the sport of Lacrosse saved my Life
Michelle HammerCreator of Schizophrenic.NYC
Michelle Hammer is a 28 year-old NYC native with Schizophrenia. Diagnosed at 22, she wanted to do something that could benefit the mental health community. In May 2015, she founded the company Schizophrenic.NYC, which is a clothing line that caters to the mental health community with the mission of reducing stigma by starting conversations about mental health. Michelle takes a portion of the profits and donates to organizations in NYC that help out with the mentally ill population of NYC.

Comments

comments