I Hate My Self Harm Scars

Written by Taylor Jones.

I hate my self harm scars.

Every time I see the now faint lines it brings me back to that moment. The moment where my life didn’t matter anymore and all I could think about was hurting myself. Those scars bring me back to a mindset I once had. I hate those flashbacks. I hate my self harm scars.

I hate my self harm scars.

Every time I see the white scars I get re-triggered. It’s almost tempting to see those scars, especially on hard days. Some days it just feels like it would be easier to rip one of the scars open, a temporary relief. It brings me back to that mindset in the moment. There’s too much on the line now though, it’s not an option for me.

I hate my self harm scars.

Every time I see those little lines I think of where I once was, and the battle ahead. But there’s a small part of me that still has a little compassion for those cuts. Those cuts were from a darker time for me, and I survived. Those cuts were from the lowest of my lows, and I made it out. I have come so far, and I am proud of that.

I hate my self harm scars,

but they’re a part of me whether I like it or not. They tell my story, and of tales that were darker than my story as a whole. I hate them, but they’re there and there’s not much I can do with them. So I live with them and hope for healing.

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Taylor NicoleSchizophrenic.NYC – Staff Blogger
Taylor Nicole is an author based out of New England. She is the author of the children’s book “I’m Sick; A Mental Health Book From Adults To Kids.” She writes about living with mental illness including BPD, DID, Dissociative Amnesia, and PTSD. She is best known for her article/video “When You’re In The Gray Area Of Being Suicidal.” Taylor is also a stay at home mom to her 2 year old Jack.

Website: AuthorTaylorNicole.com
Facebook: Author Taylor Nicole

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2017-11-04T17:14:06+00:00 June 29th, 2017|blog, Taylor Jones, writing|